thanks

A big thank you to everyone who posted here and on Facebook. It really is a big help to receive some advice and suggestions and also reassuring to know that I'm not the only mother who is about to pull her hair out. A couple of more points to make in response to your comments.

I've tried asking her what's wrong or why she woke up last night but I can't get a straight answer out of her. If I lead her into the question then she answers with what she thinks I want to hear. I had a talk with her teacher this morning at daycare and she's going to try and talk to her. Maybe if it comes from a third party she'll answer differently.

I am ALL about routine. The girls thrive on it and so do I. They stick to the same schedule everyday at school and her teacher said that she is still napping very well. One of the first out. She's always been a good sleeper and needs her nap during the day. Both of the girls are cranky monsters and completely overtired if they don't get their naps. I don't think the reason she is waking up is because she isn't tired.
 
Just over the last couple of nights she's been doing better. She is currently sleeping with her fan, a nightlight in her room and in the hallway, and the closet light on. She is still waking up and making her way to our room, but we immediately take her back. And the crying has lessened. The first time she was up last night she didn't cry at all. I took her back to her bed and she went straight down. I sang her one song and walked away. She was up again a second time and this time cried when Michael took her back instead of me. It lasted maybe  5 minutes and then she went back down without a fight. Maybe we're turning the corner.
 
I'm going to try a few things over the next week. I'm going to make a chart and give her stickers as a reward for sleeping. Then maybe she can trade in a certain amount of stickers for a new book. I'm also going to take her to pick out a stuffed animal that can only be used at nighttime. And maybe even give the music a try. Something has to work, right? Wish me luck.