the birthday girl

Dear Addison,

Sunday morning we got up and I said Happy Birthday to you. You asked me if you were really four. When I said yes you disagreed with me. You told me you still looked three and a half so you couldn't be four. Trust me. You are four. My heart knows. I was a little teary when I put you to bed Friday night. I read you a book, sang you songs and kissed your little head. You're such a big girl now and I'm really proud.

You're so outgoing and playful around those you know. Like at your party on Saturday. You had a great time with all of your friends at the bounce house place. I barely even saw you. You ran around and bounced until your little heart was content. There was that one small incident when your knee started to bleed and the world was coming to an end because I put a band aid on it, but we'll try to forget about that. Daddy rescued you from Dr. Mom and held you why you cried. Soon you were better and back to having fun. But when it was time for cupcakes and Happy Birthday and all eyes were on you, you became shy. Just like you always do. You sat on my lap, buried your head in my shoulder and cried. All you wanted was mommy. Maybe I liked it a little.

This year you again requested pink and purple cake. I made pink cupcakes with purple frosting and purple cupcakes with pink frosting. You thought they were the coolest thing. I tried to get a cute picture of you eating your cupcake, but you weren't having it. So I sent daddy to take a few. You did a pretty good job on that cupcake and the three others that you had throughout the weekend. I think I had about that many as well.

Saturday night while you were sleeping we decorated the playroom. I wanted you to feel special on your birthday. I think it worked. Your eyes were so big and bright when you walked in and saw the streamers and balloons. In the middle of the room was a present from us. Since you were the center of attention again you were shy about opening it. We were undecided on a gift for you and then I remembered you wanted some roller skates. The purple and black Tinkerbell skates were attached to your feet for most of the day. I'm pretty sure you like them. You scooted all over the house and kept reminding me that the more you practice the better you will be.

Most of the activities on your birthday were low key. We went to the park and then you and I took a long nap. We snuggled for a little bit before we fell asleep. When we woke up you put your arm around my neck and just hugged me. Then you whispered in my ear that you wanted to put your roller skates back on. For dinner we went to the neighbors. We tried Happy Birthday again and it didn't go so well. That's you under the towel. You peeked out to blow out your candle and I begged you for some smiles.

Maybe it was the sugar high. Maybe you finally got tired of me asking. Who knows for sure. I actually got a couple of smiles out of you. Sure, they were a little silly, but I'll take it. I was hoping your dislike for the camera would change when you turned four, but so far that isn't the case.  I wonder when I will be able to say smile and get a decent picture. I'll admit it. It annoys me sometimes, but pictures with your goofy and silly smiles are just as good. Because at this moment in time this is who you are. That makes me happy. I love this you.

You're a special little girl. Your sensitive and sweet, but very matter of fact. You know what you want. You're always questioning me. Stuff about your toys, stuff about life. Sometimes you seem wise beyond four years. I look at you and I can see you contemplating life. You love to read and write and play with your learning toys. You'll choose shorts, t-shrits and tennis shoes over dresses anyday. You love to play outside and will swim all day if I let you. It's always a fight to get you inside.

I love looking at your sweet face. There's a dimple over your left eye that's been there since you were a baby. The freckle on your chin stills tricks me when I'm cleaning your face. I love how the freckles on your nose and cheeks look just like mine. You are my mini me. Your eyes may be my favorite thing. They're not blue and they're not quite green. Sometimes I see some gray in there. They're a smoky mix of a couple colors that get me every time I look in them.

You fill me heart with so much love. I'm so thankful to have you as my daughter.

Love,

Mommy