frozen yogurt

On Friday nights we sometimes get frozen yogurt for a treat. We always go to Yobe because it's closest to work and the school. Being one to never waste a good coupon, we tried out Sweet Frog the other day. The kids liked it, but they would eat anything that had m&m's and sprinkles on it.

I have to say that I prefer Yobe. Sweet Frog was good, but too sweet for my taste. And the consistency was more like ice cream. I like it more frozen.

I skip the m&m's and sprinkles and go with the fruit. Not nearly as fun, but a lot healthier.

the beach

I hope this is not an indication of what is to come this summer.

For some reason Addison kept asking to go to the beach. She wanted to go play in the sand and collect shells. It was nice out so I figured why not. First we stopped near this jungle gym thing. They climbed on it and the big giant sea creatures in the sand.

They had a race to the other side of the park.

We hopped in the car and went down near the pier to hit the beach. That's when it all went downhill. Morgan was convinced that the waves, which were 50 yards away, were going to come and get her. She literally stood up from the blanket and headed back to the car. She wanted no part of it. While Michael chased her down, Addison walked out to feel the water. I wasn't paying attention because I had my camera up to my eye, but right after I took this the water came in and Addison was soaked to her shins.

That was it for her. Now we had two crying kids who were ready to go home. The whole beach trip lasted five minutes. So much for those shells.

field trip

Morgan recently went to the post office with her class. Then they went to the park. I couldn't do the post office, but I was able to meet them at the park. It helps that it is only three minutes from my office. She was pretty excited to see me. I watched her do the rope balance beam.

All of her friends were happy to see me as well. They lined up at the monkey bars and each waited patiently for me to lift them up to the bars for their turn. That was a good arm workout.

As much as I tried to steer her away from the sandbox, it didn't work. She dug and dug and filled and refilled this bucket. She kept telling me she was making a cake and I couldn't eat it until it cooled. I love her little mind.

She knows how to swing, but for some reason wanted me to push her. When I stopped to take a picture she got mad at me. Such an attitude.

Before we left we had to get in a game of hide and seek. I found her.

As for the outfit. On field trip days they have to wear their yellow shirt. I laid out a pair of jeans for her and she comes out insistent on wearing those blue striped pants. I tried to talk her out of it, but arguing with a three year old over clothes is not fun. I pick my battles and since I was already losing this one, I caved. She looks like a hot mess, but she picked out her pants and shoes and got dressed all by herself. It won't be the last time she looks like a hot mess.

daytona weekend

Once again we attended the Embry Riddle family weekend. It was great to see Matthew in his environment and we really enjoyed seeing family that came in from Tennessee. Morgan looked so cute when we got out of the car that I wanted to take her picture. This is her I'm too good for pictures face. This girl is all full of spice.

Before eating lunch we walked around and looked at all the planes. The girls found the same private plane from last year (post here) and made themselves at home.

I guess this kind of picture is better than no picture. She's such a goof sometimes.

I wanted a picture of our little family in front of this big engine. The girls act like this request is such a chore. After some moaning and groaning they gave in.

After lunch we did the flight simulator again. Michael did much better this year. He made it onto the aircraft carrier, but still crashed at the end. 

We took a tour around campus and stopped near the statue.

Before heading to the last stop of the day, the CSI crashes, we went to the tower to watch a couple of planes take off.

The crash site was really neat. There is so much stuff that you can learn just about how the crash is laid out on the ground. It made me more nervous to fly. Now I'll have to up my pills.

After I had a nap and the girls played in the hotel pool a little our whole group went to an Italian place for dinner. The straight from New York woman who owned the placed was running the show by herself. She said we could sit at any table we wanted as long as we were patient. And her conversations only got more blunt from there. The food was really good, but it was not cool that everyone on the other end of the table was done eating before the kids even got their cheese pizza. I was really proud of them though. They sat there from 5:30 to 7 munching on garlic knots and coloring. They walked around the table to talk to cousins, but they were pretty well behaved.

Sunday we headed home. We told the girls that if they napped in the car they wouldn't have to take a nap at home. Then we could go straight to look for a cat. They took us up on that offer.

It was great to see our Tennessee family. Visits are short, but always fun.

roller coaster

The past couple of weeks have been a mess.

My mom has had breast cancer. So have two of my aunts and a cousin. I've done genetic counseling and due to the family history the doctors at the Mayo Breast Clinic recommended that I have a mammogram at 35. Because I'm high risk, that makes me a candidate for the MRI as well. I went in on January 24th for a basic, routine mammogram. I had my four scans and then was told to wait for the results. I wasn't worried. I had no need to be. Twenty minutes later I was called back to do 7 additional scans. Whoa, seven? Really though, no biggie. I know I have small, dense breast and it's sometimes hard to get good images. I still wasn't worried. After being bent and positioned like a Gumby doll, I was asked to wait again. I spent the next 20 minutes texting Michael about the young healthcare worker that was there with her patient. She's talking about the President and Liberals and how the world is falling apart. That is all interrupted when the nurse calls my name and asks me to get dressed.

The doctor would like to speak with you. Those are words you don't want to hear.

My last text to Michael was Oh crap. The doctor wants to see me. That can't be good. It wasn't the worse news, but it wasn't great. Here's the thing about the Mayo Clinic. In my opinion, they are the best. They are quick and thorough and do not mess around. The doctor called me back to her dark corner and went over all the scans with me. She showed me the calcifications they found and explained to me that mine didn't really fall into one of the two categories. Rather they were a mix of both. Normally they would recommend another mammogram in six months and send me on my way, but given my family history she suggested that I go to the breast clinic and talk to my doctor about an MRI.

I did just that. On Monday the 28th I sat down with the doctor and we talked about all kinds of stuff. Options, risk factors, percentages, cancer. She told me to have my mom take a newer genetic test. It was a lot to take in. She did a thorough breast exam and found nothing, which was good, but did order the MRI. It was the best tool they had. If something was there, the MRI would find it. She would use the results and the recommendation from the Radiologist to proceed with a plan.

The MRI was scheduled for Wednesday, February 6th. I was told that I would have to be completely still during the scans. To aid in that they doped me up with Ativan. I was relaxed, but still nervous, so they gave me another one. Bless you sweet nurses.

Me with an IV, Michael with the iPad. He was as cool as a cucumber, which is exactly what I needed in this situation. He was there when I needed to cry, there to give me a hug and there when I just needed to be alone. He was the best husband and partner throughout this experience. I probably would have been all over the place if it wasn't for him.

Other than laying there with your boobs in a vice, the MRI was a piece of cake. I was so relaxed that I was on the verge of falling asleep. I don't get claustrophobic in the machine as long as I keep my eyes closed from the very beginning. Nothing was said to me when it was over so I assumed that was good news. Two days had gone by and I still hadn't heard anything. It was now Friday afternoon and I had all but convinced myself that everything was fine. Then, at 4 p.m., my phone rang. I know the 953 belongs to the Mayo Clinic and my heart started to beat faster. The nurse on the other end of the phone talked so fast that I had to have her repeat everything.

They want to do an MRI assisted biopsy on the area they found.

They found something. And did I just hear the word biopsy? Whoa. 

At this point I had only cried a couple of times throughout this process. As much as I told myself I wasn't going to worry until I had something to worry about, your mind still goes to a place where you see worst case scenario. Driving back to work after the mammogram I thought about my girls and how I couldn't go through cancer. I didn't want them to see me that way. I didn't want them to lose their mom. I cried and I cried hard. When I talked to the doctor that Monday morning I cried. I had those same thoughts all over again. When they told me I needed a biopsy my heart fell into my stomach. You don't want to prematurely think about cancer, but it happens. It's human and it's what we do. That night I went home. I put on my running clothes and went for a run. I turned my music up loud so I couldn't hear my thoughts. When I got home I sat alone in the front yard. And I cried.

I was good after that. I was ready to take the necessary steps needed to figure out what was going on. I reminded myself again not to worry until I had a real reason to worry. I reminded myself that God is really in charge and the worrying isn't going to affect the outcome. It is what it is and it still could be nothing. Only a few people knew what was going. I didn't tell many because there wasn't much to tell. I wanted to wait until I had more information and details to pass on. I didn't want people to worry. I finally felt like I was at a point to share the story. I told more of my family and friends. It was nice to have their support, their prayers and their positive energy.

I went in for the biopsy last Wednesday. Same place, same clothes, same nurses, same nerves. I had my vitals taken and the IV put in. Then the doctor came out to explain the procedure. Scan, scans, place needle, scans, do biopsy, scans, titanium clip, then mammogram. The area was near my chest wall and might be hard to get to. They may not be even to do the biopsy today. I was freaking out a little. Needles are not my best friend.  After signing the waiver I got the Ativan. It helped. 

I'm not sure why they do it, but the doctor initialed me after the procedure talk. I guess he was marking me as his patient. (Yes, I do have a lot of sun damage from being 16 and stupid, but that's another blog post.)

I kept telling myself, one step at a time. That's all I can do.

They called me back. Three of the best nurses helped get me in position on the table. You really feel like a puppet when they are pulling and positioning you. We laughed and joked about small boobs, boob jobs, cute doctors and the cute male nurse who did my vitals. They call him Andy Eye Candy. I felt like I was in the middle of a Grey's Anatomy episode. All was ready to go and they started the scans. They did a couple and then a couple of more. One of the nurses came in to talk to me while the doctor looked over everything. A couple of minutes passed and I saw the original doctor (from the mammogram) walk by. She was heading in to look at the scans as well. The nurse said she was meticulous. So much so that the nurses often get annoyed with her. After a another scan and a couple more minutes they all came in. 

You're done. The area we found has shrunk. It's changed. We don't feel the need to do the biopsy today.

A wave of emotions came over me. I was relieved and happy. Also confused and a little out of sorts. This whole process seemed to hit me all at once. I wasn't sure if I should smile or cry. I called my mom who was over the moon thrilled. She didn't show it for three weeks, but at that moment I realized how scared and nervous she was for me. I don't think I realized how scared and nervous I was. The physical and mental toll this all had on me was coming to light. We got home and I couldn't keep my eyes open for another minute. I hit the pillow and slept for hours. I made a couple of phone calls when I woke up. I really don't even remember what I said. I just know that everyone loved me and they were so happy to hear the good news.

(Me doped up on Ativan and just really tired.)

The short term plan is to go back in 6 months for another MRI and maybe a mammogram. I feel comfortable with them not doing the biopsy, for now. I feel comfortable being rescanned in 6 months. Hopefully they will find that nothing has changed. I'll probably sit down with a doctor and figure out what the long term plan is from there. Every six months? Every year? My mom's test came back negative so she is not carrying the gene. That is good news. But with so many female members of my family having breast cancer I'm not completely convinced. I'm not going to let one test decide how I make decisions for my future so I will arm myself with as much information as I can.

Here's my PSA. I'm a very take charge of your health kind of girl. I get a physical once a year. I check my tatas for lumps and bumps. I started mammograms early because of my family history. I trust doctors, their opinions and diagnosis, but if I'm not comfortable with something I let them know. I'm not afraid to ask questions and retain as much information as I can. I'm not afraid to ask for tests that aren't offered to me. I'm lucky to have the Mayo Clinic in my backyard, but it doesn't matter who your doctor is. You have to do what's best for you. If this had been cancer, they would have found it early. Thankfully it's not and I'm back to taking it one step at a time. I only have one life to live. My life. God is ultimately in control, but I will do the best I can to live it to the fullest.

her love for learning

Addison is reading so much now. She still gets stuck on a few words here and there. Then she turns around and reads a word that I was for sure she wouldn't know. We went to the store recently and she wanted a chapter book. Much to my surprise, she can read most of it all by herself.

She's made the E Honor Roll two grade periods in a row. I was lucky enough to go to the last award presentation. She was so happy that she got to sit on my lap and beamed ear to ear when she got her awards.

She enjoys reading, writing and learning so much. It comes natural to her. I hope that continues on throughout her schooling.

And check out her class blog on the right (or click HERE). One of her recent homework assignments is up. Make sure to look both ways when riding your bike. Reading this again make me giggle.

izzie

We got two fish for Christmas. Michael loved them so much that he went out and bought a 37 gallon fish tank for our house. Over the next couple of weeks the girls spent a lot of time in the pet store and always wanted to pet the cats. 

Then one day, out of the blue, I get an email from Michael saying he's gone soft and wants to get the girls a cat. That's not really what it said, but you get the idea. I was shocked. Neither one of us have wanted a pet because of the responsibility that comes with it. And Michael usually gets red, blotchy and itchy when around cats. We talked about it and agreed that if we could find one that didn't cause him to break out in hives we would get the girls a cat. A lot less responsibility than a dog.

Last weekend we went to the Humane Society to check it out. This was the first kitty Michael saw and he held her for 30 minutes. No watery eyes or sneezing. I had my eye on a couple others, but I didn't want to tempt fate. She was our kitty.

She had to be spayed so she couldn't come home with us that day. For two days we talked about names for our sweet kitty. We narrowed it down to Livi (short for Olivia, Morgan's favorite) and Tink (short for Tinkerbell, Addison's favorite). Michael picked her up Tuesday after work and while I was out bowling with my work peeps that night the girls decided on her name. I'm sure Michael had some say since they picked neither of those name, but since they both agreed on Izzie, Izzie it was.

We didn't see her much on Wednesday. After searching every inch of the house about five times and not finding her I was convinced she got out. She finally came out that night for food and I still don't know where her secret hiding place is. She's coming around and last night she was out walking around and even playing with the girls. 

Her favorite spots to hide are under the TV stand and the couches which means she's tracked every single piece of dust all over my floor. Good thing the cleaning lady is coming today. I hope by the end of the weekend she is more comfortable with us because the girls are dying to really hold her.

my valentines

Yesterday morning I woke up to a nice gift from the hubby. He's always good to me. Then I went to work and had to turn away three delivery guys with flowers that were at the wrong office. Cruel joke cupid. I decided to go visit one of my valentines at lunch. I found her running around the school gym chasing balls. She stopped long enough to pose for a picture.

When we got home we let the girls open their gifts from us. They are really into Squinkies at the moment so they each got a new set. I threw in a new cup, some heart tissues and a little bit of candy. They were a hit.

 My sweet girl with a chocolate. Maybe some of those were for me.

Morgan was throwing a hissy fit about having to take an early bath and was sent to her room to cry. Addison is really into pictures lately and this is her favorite pose. I like when she hugs me around the neck like that.

Michael and I went to dinner at Mitchell's Fish Market where I splurged on wine and chocolate cake. Then we were home early enough to put the kids to bed. Things got really romantic when we watched Anthony Bourdain in bed. The perfect Valentine's Day.

morgan happenings

On New Year's Day we went to story time at Pottery Barn Kids. Unlike Addison, Morgan is very interactive, sings and dances along with the others. Addison would have been hiding behind my leg.

Morgan is still addicted to her mermaids. They are always swimming. To the bus stop. In the car. Around the house. You can only swim if you're a mermaid. Otherwise you have to use the pixie dust to fly.

They don't swim or fly when they are sleeping. Then they are covered up and all tucked in for the night.

There is a teacher at Morgan's school that does Yoga with them every other Friday. Morgan loves it! She always comes home and shows us all of the moves. She always prefaces the tree with "this one might be too hard for you". This move is called the airplane. She makes sure to point out what we're doing wrong. I laugh the whole time.

It finally happen. The girls have been taking their lunch to school since August 2011 and I've never forgotten their lunch until now. Addison was loading stuff into my car so I thought it made it in there. I just grabbed the soup container. Luckily I keep a lot of healthy snacks at work so I grabbed a few and headed over for a lunch date. In the end, she was probably happy I forgot it.

I try to do lunch with the girls a couple times a month. It's good one on one time with them and they really seem to enjoy it.